Sit Boy!
by Booshea831
Summary: Kagome decides to give Sesshomaru a set of subjugation beads, and a command to go with them. Now he and Inuyasha match! Rated for Inuyasha's mouth.


**A/N: So I have not seen all of Inuyasha, but I love it all the same! This crazy one-shot came to me when I watched a thirteen minute compilation of all of the "Sit!" commands Kagome has given Inuyasha, and I thought, I wonder what would happen if Sesshomaru had to wear them... And of course it was just too funny to pass up writing!**

 **Enjoy!**

 **Disclaimer: If this was mine, Sesshomaru wouldn't be so... Sesshomaru. But alas it is not mine. All credit goes to the lovely creators!**

"Damn that Sesshomaru! Damn him!"

Kagome sighed, pushing her bike along beside her as Inuyasha stomped ahead, hands thrust firmly into the sleeves of his robe. His ears were practically flat against his head in his fury, amber eyes narrowed and glowering at nothing in particular.

"Well could you blame him this time? You provoked him."

Inuyasha hunched his shoulders, "Keh. You wanted him to win this time."

Kagome scoffed, "Suuuure! I wanted him to take the sword and leave! He'd probably have killed me too!"

The half-demon in front of her halted in his angered muttering, "Yeah well some big help you were! Telling me to sit halfway through the battle! I almost broke my nose! And that bastard Sesshomaru laughed at me!"

Kagome stifled a chuckle, "I saved you from his poison claws, in case you forgot, and he wasn't _laughing-"_

"Oh yes he was! Trust me, he was laughing. He already thinks I'm a stupid half-breed idiot and you're NOT helping that image!"

Kagome huffed, "You think I don't want you to knock him down a peg? He almost smashed my bike! And he didn't even apologize."

Inuyasha rolled his eyes, "Leave it to you to be more concerned about a bike than your life," he muttered. Kagome wrinkled her nose and furrowed her brow, "Inuyasha, sit."

Inuyasha barely managed to prepare himself for the faceplant into the dirt he received. Growling, he pushed himself up, spitting grass out of his mouth, "See! You'd rather humiliate me then help."

"Sit."

His face met the ground again and he didn't bother sitting up, groaning instead as he lay there.

Kagome huffed, turning away from him as she continued on, "You both fight like children. I mean you're brothers! I fight with Sota sometimes but never as terribly as you two do! You'd think you really want each other dead!"

Inuyasha picked his face up, "Have you forgotten how many times he tried to kill us? Actually kill us? I can count on one hand the amount of times he's seen me and not tried to kill me. No, actually I can't. Why? Because everytime he sees me, he wants to KILL me!"

Kagome shook her head sadly, "If you two could just talk it out-"

"Talk it out? I refuse to talk to that conceited arrogant irritating annoying murder-driven mutt!" He launched into a rant and Kagome sighed, tuning him out. The Beads of Subjugation flashed in the sunlight as Inuyasha waved his arms madly and she cocked her head.

 _I wonder…_

Inuyasha managed to keep a running rant the entire way back to the village, not stopping even as they reached the village.

Shippo raced out of Kaede's hut to greet them, "Where'd you guys go for so long?"

Kagome sighed, "Well we went to find a jewel shard and met Sesshomaru, Rin, and Jaken-"

"And that no good Sesshomaru attacked! He's such a big headed, stupid, idiot-"

"And Inuyasha's been ranting about it since we left," Kagome finished. Shippo furrowed his brow, "Oh. So did he win?"

Kagome left the two as Inuyasha launched into another heated rant about his older brother. She entered Kaede's hut to find the older woman making tea, "Did ye find the shard?" Kagome nodded and sat, accepting the tea.

"And ye met Lord Sesshomaru?"

Kagome sighed, putting her cheek in her palm, "They're such babies. I wish I could teach them how childish they're being."

Kaede hummed in thought, taking a sip of her tea, "Inuyasha learns from his actions by those beads around his neck. Perhaps his brother needs the same lesson." Kagome perked up, "I thought of that too! Do you have an extra set?"

Kaede rose, moving to the side of the hut and removing a box from a shelf. Inside lay the cloth the beads around Inuyasha's neck had lain in and beneath it-

"Another set of beads!"

Kaede handed them to Kagome in the cloth, "Be careful. The same word will apply." Kagome nodded, turning the beads this way and that in the light. "Now I've just gotta get them on Sesshomaru. But how?"

Inuyasha stayed quiet the entire time he stood on the back of Kagome's bike. She'd sensed a jewel shard and they were close, according to her, when Inuyasha raised his head and sniffed.

"That bastard is here AGAIN!"

Kagome hid her smile, choosing to remain quiet as they reached the area she'd sensed the shard from. In truth, she hadn't sensed it at all but she knew that if they rode in the direction Sesshomaru had gone in, they'd find him eventually. The second set of beads was tucked safely in her sleeve for easy access, a hair band wrapped around the edge to keep the sleeve closed.

"Guess we'll have to deal with him," she said nonchalantly. Inuyasha hopped off the bike and unsheathed Tetsusaiga, scanning the forest surrounding them. Sure enough, Sesshomaru came out of the brush with Rin and Jaken in tow.

The full demon narrowed his eyes at the sight of his younger brother and lunged. Inuyasha raised his sword-

"SIT BOY!"

Inuyasha plunged into the ground and Kagome pulled the beads from her sleeve, throwing them over his prone form and chanting the spell Kaede had taught her. The glowing beads clasped themselves around Sesshomaru's neck and the older demon stopped, tugging at the beads around his neck.

They wouldn't budge. He pulled harder but they refused to move, strain, and least of all break. He looked to Kagome, who had crossed her arms and was smiling triumphantly. He snarled and moved towards her.

The beads began to glow and Kagome's smug look grew, "Sit boy."

Inuyasha was planted further into the earth while Sesshomaru came crashing down. Stunned slightly, he got to his feet and lunged for Kagome again.

"Sit! Sit sit sit sit sit sit sit sit sit sit sit!"

Repeatedly both brothers slammed into the ground and Sesshomaru clambered to his feet, staggering slightly. Inuyasha was clutching his bleeding nose, glaring at Kagome, "What did I DO?"

Kagome grimaced slightly, "Sorry. The same word works for both necklaces." Inuyasha raised an eyebrow, "Both…?"

His eyes fell on his brother, taking in his disheveled hair and dirt-smeared face. He burst into laughter, doubling over and abandoning his nose. Sesshomaru growled and Inuyasha stopped laughing, reaching for Tetsusaiga.

"I'm gonna kill you-!"

"SIT!"

Sesshomaru picked his face up from the dirt, gingerly feeling his nose that had swollen and was now bleeding, much like Inuyasha's. Kagome stood over both of them, "Children fight petty fights. And children get punished."

Sesshomaru glared at her, "How dare you-"

She smiled, "S-"

He snapped his mouth shut and Inuyasha folded his arms, "Now you know how I feel! It sucks, having to faceplant every time she decides to say sit! Even accidently!"

Sesshomaru turned on his heel and walked away from them with as much dignity as he could muster at that moment. Stupid mortal. Stupid Inuyasha. Stupid beads. He tugged vainly on them, glancing behind him at Kagome. He'd never admit it, but he had the tiniest bit of respect for her.

Rin clasped and unclasped her hands in worry, "My lord you're hurt! Can I help? Do you need anything?"

"No."

"Do you need to sit-"

He winced, but didn't slam into the ground. He relaxed. If Kagome was the only one who could make him do that, so be it. He continued on, Rin fretting and Jaken loudly proclaiming curses.

Kagome watched Sesshomaru fly above them, waving avidly, "Big brother!"

He gave her a look and she frowned, turning to Inuyasha, "He looked annoyed. You too?" Inuyasha flattened his ears and shook his head, "That sounded so wrong."

Kagome shrugged, glancing back up at the demon.

"Sesshomaru!"

He barely glanced her way and she smiled.

"Sit!"

 _BAM!_

Inuyasha fell into the laundry at their feet, cursing and spitting out blankets. Sesshomaru had landed smack in the little river running through the village and emerged, soaking wet and fuming. Jaken stumbled after him as the disgraced demon lord stomped away, hands clenched into fists.

Kagome sighed, "He needs to control his anger." Inuyasha was too busy laughing at his brother's expense to reply.


End file.
